What was I thinking???

 This is Clifford, the black dog I found at the local humane society. He is not the dog I was looking for and I probably would not have him now if it weren't for my husband. Clifford already had an adoption pending when we saw him. The shelter person said we could fill out an application in case the other adoption did not work out. If I had been there alone I would have left at that point and Clifford would probably have found another home. He was cute and adoptable; but not what I was looking for. I did not want to do the "puppy" thing. I wanted an older dog that was possibly housebroken and less energy intensive. Having done the "puppy" thing in the past I was fully aware of all that goes in to fitting a puppy into your home and wasn't really interested in doing that.

Why my husband filled out the application is still a mystery to me and he has no answer that makes sense. He has done nothing but complain, growl and generally object to every puppy trait that Clifford has demonstrated. He blames me for all of the unpleasant things that Clifford does. I feel innocent and fully justified as the martyr in this situation. Okay so lets be honest I am not completely innocent, I could have said no when the humane society called to tell us we were approved for Clifford.

We had also applied to adopt a cat that they called Rapunzel (not sure how they spelled it) and I was expecting that call. So when the voice on the other end said we had been approved for Clifford, it took me a couple beats to realize she was using the wrong name. I then asked her "Well what about Rapunzel?".  She did not have information about Rapunzel but told me when we came to visit Clifford we could also inquire about Rapunzel.

After she ended the call I continued to hold the phone in front of me and ask questions .... Clifford? ...... What is wrong with me? ..... Should I call back and tell her to forget it? .... Is this really a good idea? ... Can I do a puppy? ... Maybe I could be the back up if they don't find someone else to adopt this dog .... oh, no that last thought revealed something to me .... I now feel responsible for this dog.

As my husband and I drove away from our house to visit with Clifford in my heart I knew we were coming home with a puppy. I knew myself well enough to know that if I went to visit with this dog I would be committed for life. The brief look we had in the kennel was enough to tempt me but a visit with touching and playing would end any chance for me to say no.

Still on the surface of things I clung to the idea that if it was not meant to be something or someone would intervene. Maybe the person evaluating us would decide we were unfit or unqualified.  Clifford would bite us or growl in disapproval (I have a tendency to employ magical thinking in order to avoid accepting full responsibility).  I will admit to you now that I knew that this little black puppy was going to bring havoc into our house and I didn't want to be blamed for what was going to happen.

Well, that is how Clifford entered my life. Oh, and yes we brought Rapunzel home with us too. We have changed her name to Chloe and she seems to like that. More on Chloe later.

So the journey begins .....